Thursday, March 20, 2014

Toys Bee Gone

Kids don't come with an instruction manuel.  I know, big shocker.  Britta especially did not come with one.  Britta was only 9 months and I found myself clueless, confused and completely crazy.  When I went to my mom for some "motherly" advice she turned to me and said "um, sorry! I don't know what to do to help you!".  So, we have had to make our own rules and regulations at home.  Those are other topics for other days... We have tried a little of grandmotherly advice, tried advice that I found online, really try anything that seemed to have any positive effect. It has been more of a trial and error... 


So it comes to this new turn of events....


I found myself standing in my kitchen, Gunnar had just left for the next few days for work and had had it.  Spring break was in full 'spring' and we were at a crossroads.  There was constant arguing, fighting, tantrums, crying, screaming, begging, whining, mostly everything under the sun between the two of us.  Some of you might wonder and question the serious nature of the issue and how can you have all those emotions from a kindergartner and my response is you just have to see it and know Britta from the beginning.  What was I to do to 'survive' the rest of spring break? (and by survive I really mean survive.... literately). 

I stopped, 
thought, 
and in a small way, snapped,
and made the decision,
"I'm getting rid of EVERYTHING".


  I took a lesson from a semi-well known blog post "Why I Took My Kids' Toys Away" 

I remembered reading this post and then the post from the year after this awesome mom took away her children's toys.  It was time to take the house back!  My smart, strong-willed, determined daughter was ruling our household and I  would be damned if I was going to continue living like we were.  There was also no way in hell I was going to raise a entitled child.

So I grabbed totes and A LOT of garbages and just started to get to work. Her room first; with books, pictures, doo-dads, trash, crayons, markers, cards, everything.  Then to her playroom (affectionately known as her octagon), her legos, cars, dress-up clothes, accessories, marbles. I even took her favorite clothes to wear (all nike apparelI didn't even bother organizing it. (it was mostly cleared out anyway).  I figured it would organize it if and when I gave it back to her if at all. At this point, all I knew was it ALL HAD TO GO.  I cleared an entire shelf in the garage and placed all of the loot on that shelf. 

I would lie if I said there were no tears unlike the prior post (Why I Took My Kids' Toys Away).  There were lots of tears, screams, and slamming of anything she could get her hands on. None of it phased me, I had made my decision. 

I should say I only let her keep her blankets that she sleeps with every night (I knew I needed more leverage in case of an emergency).  

I explained to her what has happening and that she would have to earn every piece of it back.  One item at a time.  Thats as far as I knew what to do.  

Yes, I did have a good cry (more like sobbing on the phone with my sister) in the garage where she couldn't see me.  I'm her mom, its hard.  But she couldn't see that it was hard for me, I had to be firm and follow through or all of it would be in vain.  My decision was solid and there was no turing back.  It was done.  

We then, got dressed, and went out for the afternoon.  Simple as that.

It has been 24ish hours since then.  I still can say (after re-reading the blog post) I'm not sure where to go from here.  Yesterday, she earned the book that we have been reading to her at night.  Today she earned back her beloved stuffed Ironman that she sleeps with.  Piece by piece. Day by day.  

So far so good, as more time passes I do feel we will be getting rid of MOST of the things that I took away.  She doesn't need them.  I'm all about clearing the excess.  I can only hope that our version "Ruth's" post is close to her experience.  I feel we are going to have a more bumpy ride to contentment.  That's ok, with Britta in our lives there has not been one milestone that has been smooth sailing.  

And I am ready for any storm.