Family of Four

 After "the birth story" there is so much that comes after!! Usually new moms just worry and fret about the birth and arrival of their new 'bundle of joy' but what comes afterward is when the real work begins.  

It is no secret... babies are hard! And again it is no secret that newborns.... not my favorite.  I know werido right? I have come to realize I am in the HUGE minority when it comes to the lovable, soft squeezable, snuggable newborns.  Britta was not one of those lovable squeezable newborns... lets me honest, it was pure survival mode for us the first few months (and really years) for her.  Van has been a dream.  I get to experience what a 'good baby' or 'normal temperament' is like.  As great as he is, he still cries, screams, poops, feeds wakes up a lot - and what seems to be our norm a nap/schedule fighter.  He goo's and smiles and melts hearts, something that was new to us but he is still a baby! They are hard no matter what phase.  


As the long days go by and the weeks zoom by he is now 3 months old - still fighting scheduling but at least sleeping amazing at night.  He will normally sleep from 7:30-4 or 5am.  Nothing to complain about.  Yet I find myself dreaming of when I get to feed him food or when he crawls, sits up in a shopping cart and yes, even throwing tantrums.  I find myself so much more confident it handing tantrums and crying fits of a 2 yr old then sleep training a baby.  I think I have Britta to thank for my confidence in dealing with a difficult baby. 

Britta has blossomed having a little brother.  She is protective and always amazed at how cute and adorbale he is.  She calls him her 'bundle' and always wants him to smile or talk to her and no one else.  Yes, we have our moments - I wont say there are obstacles, She is argumentative, strong  and at times self conscious but Gunnar and I are doing our best to keep her in check as well as giving her the attention that she needs (not always wants).

  Van is completely infatuated with her. He looks at her like she might be the center of his universe and loves it when she sings to him.  Needless to say we are still trying to juggle getting britta to and from school while attempting to nap Van in-between and stay on schedule while we run her to dance and all other things that come with having kiddos.  We are slowly figuring it out and I am happy to stay the family of four for awhile but I feel this transition has been as nearly as smooth as it could possibly go.   I finally seem confident of what we are doing and we feel the best is only ahead of us - the good and the bad. 

Here are a few pics to recap the past few months.  Yes, most all of these are instagrams, they just happen to all be my favorite and I don't normally use my regular camera anymore! 

One of the only pictures we got on his blessing day.  He had gone a pooped himself and well, this was the aftermath in the mothers room....

Mud party at the Rogers for Ben's graduation

My grandpa and Van - This was seriously one of the sweetest things I had ever seen! 

Bath time has always been his favorite.

Britta's last preschool pic.  Love her!

Yes, Britta is crossing her eyes, Van looks quite amused...

Van: A Birth Story

I am so behind on posting - so I feel a slew of posts in the coming days.  So I will start at the  beginning - and that just happens to start with a birth story that I'd rather not elaborate on but it is the beginning and I know I love reading other people's stories whether they be rainbows and unicorns or hell on earth.  This birth story just happens to be hell on earth.....

Ok, maybe hell on earth is being too dramatic because the story ends quite happy. Thats why there is all these cute lil pictures throughout the post because he is quite the sweetheart! Sooo....

for better or for worse, here it goes....

It started when I was just a couple days early of my due date and it was time for the eviction of the little man! So on a cool evening in February we met my mom and dad for what seriously felt like "my last meal" before being a mom of two, at Pita Jungle to hand Britta off to my mom and dad before we went to the hospital for the induction.  It was delish and it really was a great last meal! 

As we got checked into the hospital I was starting to feel contractions - welp, he got the notice and was helping out in the cause.  We had a the "luxury suite" of the labor and delivery room, quite exciting.  I decided to walk it out before they hooked me up to pitocin since I was contracting on my own anyways.  We walked, talked and then it was time to settle in for the night.  Then the waiting.... I watched tv as long as shows permitted, then I watched Hunger Games- quite delightful at 2am. Early morning brought on pain.... but I was strong and wanted to hold out till I was farther along. Gunnar took a shower, and around 5am I asked for the good drugs through my IV (ohh, love those drugs).  Then, a few hours later the drugs failed to take the edge off as much as I would have liked.  So around 9am I got my epideral. 

Yay, epideral.... I had high hopes.  My last epideral brought on tears by a mean anesthesiologist, this time he was nice and it was easy peasy.  Too bad it didn't work in the area that needed it most.... maybe I should have asked for the mean one... 

I felt better for awhile but then I started feeling serious pressure.  A good sign I knew but not so much fun... So finally they broke my water around 10am and instead of my bag of waters pressing down on me it was my sweet baby boys head! Much better yet actually horribly worse for me! Then the party started...

My contractions were not letting up and there was no breaks in-between  them. Just pure contractions over and over like a never ending wave.  This was when I called Gunnar to stand by my side.  It was time to enlist him in our endeavor. It was about this time when I realized, this epideral is working on my stomach and legs... that was it. It was going to be a bumpy ride! 

Now it was time to push.... no seriously "I need to push!"  is what I told my nurse even though last time they checked I was only a 4.  So she checked me and quite shocking to her (not to me) she said "OK! We are having a baby!! We'd better call her doctor NOW, he might miss it!"  

The entire 20 minuets waiting for him was excoriating! But I was bound and determined to wait for him. I wanted MY doctor there, not just his resident but HIM!  If it wasn't for the best nurse in training coaching me through each long long contraction I wouldn't have been able to make it.  All that time was quite a blur.  I remember kinda freaking because my hands were tingly and numb and I quite anxiously said "I can't feel my hands! I can't feel my hands!!" then in a sweet tone my nurse said, thats because of your breathing, lets give you some oxygen and it will go away.  You baby doesn't need it but It will help you"  

After that there was lots of sweating and breathing.  My sight was seriously blurred and all I could manage focusing on was the ceiling  and keeping that baby in till my doctor was there.  He was NOT going to miss it! I finally knew and now understand why they call it the "ring of fire". That was one of the worst parts! Now I completely understand why they call it labor because it is hard painful work bringing these lil people into the world! 

Swiftly and mercifully Dr. Nelson finally came in and he was all business.  I'm sure he noticed really what was going on and there was no messing around. When I saw him come in it was all I could do but not yell "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??!" I knew better, no one yells at Dr. Nelson..... 

Oh yea, looking a lot like I just had a baby! 

The next thing I remember is being told ok, lets push! I, being quite relieved because my doctor was here and all was well and I could finally let my body work and push this babe out! Push one: holy crap!! THAT HURTS!! There was yelling and I have to say I was quite proud of myself afterward that there was no explicits... go me.  There was a small thought of mine that said "yea, I don't want to push again..." then the nurse said "ok, you can either wait for the next contraction or just push whenever you feel like it." Part of me wanted to wait, I'd rather not feel that pain again! But something deep inside of me reared it's head and said "Let's get this baby OUT NOW!"  So two more horrifying pushes and all of it was over.  On the last push, Dr. Nelson told me to reach down and grab my baby.  So I reached down grabbed under my lil man's armpits and placed this little ball of skin on me! Everything was forgotten (ok, not really but kinda) and he was just quiet and a little whiney but so yummy! Through sweat and tears he was here and this part was over and now.... I had a newborn. It was all worth it, we just may have to wait a long while for me to forget the pain...  either way, our family had a new addition and he is ours to teach and love. We had a newborn! 

Now the fun really begins! 

Last Christmas

Perks.  Having a bit more years than we originally planned in between kids has perks.  One of them has been being able to have one last Christmas having just Britta. I can see the draw to having an only child.  All our attention was on her this year and it has been so much fun to see her get so excited about Christmas. 

We spent Christmas up at the cabin and it couldn't have been more wonderful.  Not only did she get 100%  attention from dear mom and dad but also grandma & grandpa (plus Bethany and Casey).  There was gingerbread men making (thanks again for the memories mom), snow playing and a merry time all around.  This is not to say we wont have a wonderful time next Christmas with the new addition; I am just enjoying the time we have left with only one kiddo.  If we have learned anything this last year it has been to have joy in the journey.  It is not where we will be in a month, year or even 10 years it is where we are in the here and now.  I feel grateful to say that there is nothing I'd rather be doing.  

Here are some pics of our last Christmas with only Britta. 

The day before we left to the cabin Britta played with Bethany (and her kitten katniss) poor cat....

Sugar cookie decorating with grandma is quite thrilling

We did get our white Christmas - why sled when Grandma will pull you around??

Eating Christmas eve dinner is hard work for this one...

Best mom and dad ever!

Nativity dress up - a must! Thanks to Hailey-bean!

The most meek and mild she has been her entire life was when she was playing baby Jesus.
Next year we will have a real baby Jesus!

Christmas Eve family pic....
I obviously didn't quite fit into my PJ's this year... for obvious reasons.

Quite the typical kiddo pose....

Christmas morning

Writing letters to McKay!

Britta likes to make "lightning bolts" for Elder Tanner - 

Right before Dolly freaked out because Britta was in her "space"

Merry Christmas dinner

More memories being made!

Britta waiting patiently to open her gifts on Christmas.

Feeding the ducks at the lake

By the end we had one tired kiddo! 

I hope your Christmas and New Years was just as wonderful as ours! Bring on 2013!

Lucky Number 4

     August 2fird! A date we have all been hearing about for about 6 months and it has finally arrived! So we celebrated rainbow style! We had the birthday bash at my mom and dad's last night to celebrate and I guess 4 is our lucky number.  No crying, no whining, no freak-outs just pure unadulterated FUN! What a difference 3 years makes! We had rainbow cake and rainbow treats and with an August birthday there always has to be swimming!! Check out the fun afternoon we had celebrating!

I have to give myself dibbs on this cake.
Thank you Pintrest! You make a domestic goddess out of me!

We can't have a birthday without a little sass!

Beautiful right???
It turned out better than I could've imagined!

Britta being older and having AMAZING older cousins to help present opening was a BREEZE!

Birthday princess for sure! 

A year from now we will have a new baby and Britta will be a kindergartner! I can not wait to see what the next year brings us! 

I Don't Mind

After a two crazy years of trying to get pregnant... 
We finally are blessed with baby #2 on the way due on Feburary 11th!!! We couldn't be more elated.  Last time I was pregnant there really wasn't a "social network" per-se to announce this sort of stuff so I had debated back and forth to even "publicly publishing" the big news.  All this technology can get quite confusing on what is appropriate.  I hate to admit but in the past 2 years there have been too many tears shed when scrolling through status updates and pictures of newborn babies and adorable pregnant bellies.  But I did want those who do not already know that we are FINALLY expecting.  

There are many things that come from being pregnant this time around I have been able to experience many of them the good, the bad, the ugly. But I don't mind a lick.

I don't mind that for the past 9 weeks (I am currently 14 weeks but I don't count the 5 I didn't know) I had to divert my thoughts to food and smells that were appeasing

I don't mind that I mostly stick to skirts and stretchy pants because I am too lazy for real pants

I don't mind that I still use a rubber band to hold my pants up because my old maternity pants don't quite convey today's style.

I don't mind that up until now I have been too sickly to go buy the current style of maternity pants.

I don't mind that the past few trips up to Pinetop I have either had my head out the window of the car and then spent most of the vacay on the floor or the couch.

I don't mind seeing my midsection grow I swear by the day and expect it won't be long till the beloved stretch marks make their comeback.

I don't mind only being able to take tylenol to fight my migraines that show their face every once in while. 

I don't mind not cooking much anymore (Gunnar doesn't even complain at all!)

I don't mind any of the downsides to being pregnant and I have been trying to enjoy all the good things that come from being pregnant like ultrasounds and looking at baby stuff and not feeling a stab of hurt.  I feel like there was and is a reason why it took so long for us to have this baby I still don't really know why and there is a good chance I never will but, it takes me back to my testimony that my Heavenly Father knows us and knows our family far better than I will know us and He has a plan.  I know to have faith in His timing and trust that it will be better than I had ever imagined.  

Toleration

Unfortunately is has been a serious amount of time since our last little update.  Well, that's because there is nothing to update....


But what I can say is that it has come to my realization that in these past few months my strange, outlandish, impulsive, intense and sometimes ridiculous behavior are, to be put simply, being tolerated.


I, by no means want any pity or cast doubt that those around me don't love, support and completely adore me but as of recent, my habits and impulses have been quite erratic. 
Let me explain....


I can no longer use "drugs" (previous posts) as an excuse for my behavior.  My personal soap boxes and the occasional (ok, not so occasional) use of vulgar language ideas sound completely sane in my head then when I say it out loud I realize "that thought was much better in my head".  I have been finding many uses for spray paint. (and when I say many, I mean literally anything without a heartbeat) Did you know that you can spray paint those plastic boxes used for storing food? Yup, I spray painted that sucker, added glitter and WHAM! We have a new "cheer box" for scouts! 


Gunnar, being the creature that he is, just admires all I paint, plaster, sanding, more painting and seems amazingly supportive of my recent endeavors to start 10 house decor projects and not quite get them finished. He turns a quiet cheek when I have worn the same stretchy pants for 5 days and haven't washed my hair in a week and Britta and I are 'fighting' like we are two sisters who have been living in tiny cabin for the past month. The sad part about all this is that Gunnar isn't the only one who is tolerating the new Shay. No, no many others have shared in this new universe. 


Bethany (I hope she wont hate me for the shout-out) quietly listens when I am yelling and the stupid mini van who cut me off AGAIN, and even agrees with me on the fact the mini-vans should not be street legal in the US. I mean really? You choose a mini van?? She even LIKES my new pink in my hair that was originally just a short term choice turned into long term personal identity trait. 


I think my epiphany came when I explained to Gunnar one night that I don't think tattoos are THAT bad.  I mean, at least they are not CHANGING a persons features the way that those creepy plastic surgeons claim.  He listened, pondered and simply said "no, Shay, you cannot get a tattoo." No freak outs, no words of dissent just simple toleration. 


So when will this end? Maybe never.  I just count my lucky stars that I have enough people that love me enough to tolerate my idiosyncrasies.  Because without them.. who knows, I could have joined the circus as the tattoo lady and renamed myself Wanda. The world is my oyster and I intend to seize it! 




(PS I am sorry for any of those reading who have a mini van. When I say sorry I don't mean I feel sorry, I just feel sorry that you OWN a mini van :)